Anything else?

Never quite saw this class commin to an end.
I wrote so much
Now there's no more ink
My mind is empty
Where's my pen.
Bruh where you been
I'm fittin in more words at once
Than you've ever said
In all you're life
Sharp witted like a knife
Who knows maybe ill by a ring
And turn your crush into my wife
But such is life
And I'd actually really like
To keep this one precise
If I'm lacking details let me know
Those are somthin that I'll provide.
In given time
In given time

Excuse me I just needed to take a breath,
180 days of senior year
Of which there's only 5 left.
We're fresh ta death

Now hold up
Let me give you a minute to catch up
Yeah I'm messed up
But I make the best stuff
You know that it's better than the rest of
Anything that you've ever heard.

But a little time in the limelight is what hard work deserves.

Thank you.

Blue ticket

A ticket with one word.
One word on a ticket.
Blue and black.
Black and blue.
Inverse operations.
Operations inverted.
Love hurts, and these words are meaningless to you; these words break my heart.

Nostalgia

I wish that left overs never went bad, just like I wish like today was yesterday and tomorrow would never come.
I wish that I still had my baby teeth.
I wish I had a room full of all of the balloons I've let go.
I wish I could take it all back,
But I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

You probably forgot about my blog so if you don't read this I won't be surprised.
But I hope you do, and if you do please let me know that you still care.

Love, Ben

PS I love everyone of you, sorry for being so obnoxious.

This is your heart

Hey Ben,
You have never listened to me before but I'm hoping you will now.
We have been through a lot together, we have been through everything together.
Without you I am a worthless muscle mass but together we can do amazing things.
I guess I just want you to know I'm glad we have each other.

PS This is your heart.

Reveal

Click here to view reveal.

Losers are learners

It's hard for me to put words to how I feel when I accomplish something meaningful, I'm not sure if it's because it feels so damn good or if it's because I rarely feel it....
I think the only thing stronger than that feeling is how I feel when I fail at something.
For the longest time I let feelings of inadequacy control my life in a negative manner.
And I guess all I really want to say is our failures only strengthen us and make us human.
So at the end of the day loosing is also really winning.

FEAR

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear Is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Robot

I am still waiting for you to wright me back.
Even if it is just a letter of rejection.
If you think that not responding is protecting me you're wrong, because as long as you don't destroy my thoughts of "us" I will still torture my self every day by constantly playing the possibility of you loving me through my mind on repeat.
I love I love you I love you

Love,
         BEN 

Dear ____________

It is thought provoking
how what you thought was coping
Is really choking you worse than the rope that stopped your hoping like a train dead in it's tracks.

It's just another cigarette
another chance to forget
forget everything that's ever happened every choice you have ever made
making you who you are today.

but you're still here
so I'm not complaining
just wondering if I made any difference
or if you made these changes all on your own...

I'm still waiting to hear back from you.

Love
               Benjamin

Untainted

I remember the good old days like they were yesterday's leftovers.
Every time I look at them they are one day older and one day further from being fresh.
When I was 4 I learned how to play hopscotch, and when I turned 6 I learned that I had been playing wrong for 2 years.  I found this new acquired knowledge a little unsettling, if I had been having such a damn good time....
What could I be doing wrong?
I found my collection of Pokémon cards yesterday, who thinks they can beat me??

LOVE YOU
                  -Ben

A forever child

A lot of times I try to cover reality with music. But in this instance it only makes things worse, my thoughts of you are only amplified, and my thoughts of us are left searching for reality. It's odd that this time I have nowhere to hide, you make me vulnerable but I like it. You inspire me. I know it was only approximately 7 hours but it's changed everything. I don't think that I'll ever to learn to love someone the same way I love you. You make me want to be a better me, the real me.  I have no intentions of sending this to you but I do need someone to know. That simple kiss on the cheek made my knees go weak and I will never forget how I felt In that moment. I love you. See you in one and a half.

Yours truly,
Benjamin Nevis

PS
Stay a forever child.

Calluses

Six strings
Ten fingers
And twenty two frets
But still no good reason to write you a love song
Three buckles the hold closed the hardshell case that hasn't been opened In years
I've forgotten what its like to hold a piece of wood with no agenda besides creating
Now I only hold it to impress
There are plenty of good excuses for why this hardshell have collected so much dust over the past years
But you are not one
You deserve a love song
I am just doubtful that I can capture my feelings for you with anything less than a symphony

I love you, I miss you, I need you.
       
                          LOVE BEN

Mortar

What's a brick without mortar
Brick, mortar, brick, mortar
Me, you, you, me
Brick halls made of brick walls that controlled the paths we walk
I am in debt with these halls because they are the only reason I cross paths with you everyday
I don't know if we would have met otherwise
And I don't even know if you remember the day we did
Maybe it's because I didn't even talk to you, but we made eye contact and that must count for something
But if I never did I don't think that I would still walk these brick halls made of brick walls,
Because you are the light at the end of the tunnel

Thank you
                   -Ben

Dog leash

If you run as hard as you can for as long as you can you will eventually wear yourself out and fall to the ground.
This is a fact and it is inevitable.
The only thing that matters is that when you get up you run harder and longer than before.
Inside of you, me, and every living creature there is  something that seeks to fit in and feel "normal"
Just promise me that you will find that part of yourself and destroy it, because you are perfect and I love you.

I love you
                Love Ben.

This Is Not A Love Poem

I've been thinking about you a lot as of late
Well actually you've been on my mind since you left.
I know its my fault and I know you don't want to hear anything I have to say,
And I don't blame you I really don't.
It's just that I'm so damn tired of trying to fool you, and fool everyone. I'm sick of this mask that I have to wear to make you think that I'm okay without you.
Well surprise,
im not.
You say that I'm just a boy which is interesting because to me you are much more than just I girl.
But I guess none of this matters anyways because I'll never press send.

LOVE,
           Ben

Hats

i'm not sure if you realize the amount of emotion i hold behind my composure.

i'm not sure if you realize that to me hats,  hats are more than caps we wear on our heads.

i'm not sure if you know my best friend is dead, and i'm not sure if i want you too.

you see i cant just call him anymore. 

i cant go and knock on his door and expect him to be behind it when it opens.

there is nothing tangible left in our relationship.

nothing to hold,

nothing besides a hat, a hat given to me by the one person who loved him more than me

his mother, a mother willing to give up everything to make sure that her sons last years were more than worth living.

a mother strong enough to look past every disabled piece of gods creation and see him for what he was,

a boy

a boy with a hat

with a purpose

with a smile

oh he had one hell of a smile

a boy with enough heart to make up for his eyes that couldn't see

or his legs that couldn't walk

a boy who turned my life from a living hell into a life where in which i didn't have to give a hell

a boy who changed everything

Love You

                Ben Nevis

P.S   share your damn hats.

FOR YOU, FOR US, FOR ME

its interesting to think about me and you
i know that no sense can be found in my ideology of a perfect paris with you
only because you will never feel that same burn inside of you that i get each time
i see your face
or hear your voice
or see you smile
or think of us as if it is an actual possibility
this is not supposed to sound doleful and its not me trying to say i love you
i'm just sick of knowing that nobody knows how i feel
and carrying that weight is something that i can no longer bear
i'm hoping that by making these words tangible that it will take some of the pain away



i love you
                  yours truly
                                     BENJAMIN NEVIS

delete

delet

dele

del

de

d

c

cr

cre

crea

creat

create

right now its all only a thought
a belief
a hope i guess you could say
i have found where i want to go but do not know how to get there
i hope this class will help with that
i guess it can be my passport
this class that is
you guys should probably know that it is gong to take some time to warm up to this being myself thing
i am hoping that it wont be too hard
and i hope to learn of the real you as well

best of wishes
                       -Ben