Untainted

I remember the good old days like they were yesterday's leftovers.
Every time I look at them they are one day older and one day further from being fresh.
When I was 4 I learned how to play hopscotch, and when I turned 6 I learned that I had been playing wrong for 2 years.  I found this new acquired knowledge a little unsettling, if I had been having such a damn good time....
What could I be doing wrong?
I found my collection of Pokémon cards yesterday, who thinks they can beat me??

LOVE YOU
                  -Ben

A forever child

A lot of times I try to cover reality with music. But in this instance it only makes things worse, my thoughts of you are only amplified, and my thoughts of us are left searching for reality. It's odd that this time I have nowhere to hide, you make me vulnerable but I like it. You inspire me. I know it was only approximately 7 hours but it's changed everything. I don't think that I'll ever to learn to love someone the same way I love you. You make me want to be a better me, the real me.  I have no intentions of sending this to you but I do need someone to know. That simple kiss on the cheek made my knees go weak and I will never forget how I felt In that moment. I love you. See you in one and a half.

Yours truly,
Benjamin Nevis

PS
Stay a forever child.

Calluses

Six strings
Ten fingers
And twenty two frets
But still no good reason to write you a love song
Three buckles the hold closed the hardshell case that hasn't been opened In years
I've forgotten what its like to hold a piece of wood with no agenda besides creating
Now I only hold it to impress
There are plenty of good excuses for why this hardshell have collected so much dust over the past years
But you are not one
You deserve a love song
I am just doubtful that I can capture my feelings for you with anything less than a symphony

I love you, I miss you, I need you.
       
                          LOVE BEN

Mortar

What's a brick without mortar
Brick, mortar, brick, mortar
Me, you, you, me
Brick halls made of brick walls that controlled the paths we walk
I am in debt with these halls because they are the only reason I cross paths with you everyday
I don't know if we would have met otherwise
And I don't even know if you remember the day we did
Maybe it's because I didn't even talk to you, but we made eye contact and that must count for something
But if I never did I don't think that I would still walk these brick halls made of brick walls,
Because you are the light at the end of the tunnel

Thank you
                   -Ben

Dog leash

If you run as hard as you can for as long as you can you will eventually wear yourself out and fall to the ground.
This is a fact and it is inevitable.
The only thing that matters is that when you get up you run harder and longer than before.
Inside of you, me, and every living creature there is  something that seeks to fit in and feel "normal"
Just promise me that you will find that part of yourself and destroy it, because you are perfect and I love you.

I love you
                Love Ben.

This Is Not A Love Poem

I've been thinking about you a lot as of late
Well actually you've been on my mind since you left.
I know its my fault and I know you don't want to hear anything I have to say,
And I don't blame you I really don't.
It's just that I'm so damn tired of trying to fool you, and fool everyone. I'm sick of this mask that I have to wear to make you think that I'm okay without you.
Well surprise,
im not.
You say that I'm just a boy which is interesting because to me you are much more than just I girl.
But I guess none of this matters anyways because I'll never press send.

LOVE,
           Ben

Hats

i'm not sure if you realize the amount of emotion i hold behind my composure.

i'm not sure if you realize that to me hats,  hats are more than caps we wear on our heads.

i'm not sure if you know my best friend is dead, and i'm not sure if i want you too.

you see i cant just call him anymore. 

i cant go and knock on his door and expect him to be behind it when it opens.

there is nothing tangible left in our relationship.

nothing to hold,

nothing besides a hat, a hat given to me by the one person who loved him more than me

his mother, a mother willing to give up everything to make sure that her sons last years were more than worth living.

a mother strong enough to look past every disabled piece of gods creation and see him for what he was,

a boy

a boy with a hat

with a purpose

with a smile

oh he had one hell of a smile

a boy with enough heart to make up for his eyes that couldn't see

or his legs that couldn't walk

a boy who turned my life from a living hell into a life where in which i didn't have to give a hell

a boy who changed everything

Love You

                Ben Nevis

P.S   share your damn hats.

FOR YOU, FOR US, FOR ME

its interesting to think about me and you
i know that no sense can be found in my ideology of a perfect paris with you
only because you will never feel that same burn inside of you that i get each time
i see your face
or hear your voice
or see you smile
or think of us as if it is an actual possibility
this is not supposed to sound doleful and its not me trying to say i love you
i'm just sick of knowing that nobody knows how i feel
and carrying that weight is something that i can no longer bear
i'm hoping that by making these words tangible that it will take some of the pain away



i love you
                  yours truly
                                     BENJAMIN NEVIS